


Sink or Swim

by Ononymous



Series: Ferry Requests 2017 [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-16 14:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: Undyne discovers a shocking gap in Asriel's life experiences, and is determined to correct it.





	Sink or Swim

**Author's Note:**

> Original pitch: Undyne, Papyrus and Frisk teach Asriel to swim.

"...an' then he says 'That's not the barrier, that's my wife!' Wa ha ha!"

"Fuhuhuhu!"

Undyne slammed her fist on the counter in a vain attempt to control the laughter. Neither she nor Gerson noticed the small crack she'd bestowed upon it.

"What was he even doing there in the first place?"

"Hell if I know. Them Flamesman folks all got a mind of their own. Asgore never understood any of 'em."

Undyne drained the rest of her glass. She was grateful she'd stopped here. It was hotter than she thought on her early morning marathon, and she'd used up her own water faster than planned.

"Yeah, well I never hung out with them much. Way too uncomfortable. Flopsy always reported Heats keeps to himself at least."

"Yeah, well, some people turn their weirdness inward. Wouldn't know anything about that. Heh!" He fished out a small piece of paper from his breast pocket, unfolded it, examined it intently, then re-folded and replaced it. It was the fourth time he'd done that.

"So, still ain't got young Alphy to join ya as you try to rip yer body apart."

"Gerson, there's 'breaking the barrier' impossible, and there's 'Alphys running' impossible. You gotta build up to it. We made a deal though, so long as she gets up early and works on science stuff instead of just vegging on anime alone, I won't send Jog Boy around. And then we veg on anime in the evening!"

"Feh," his face scrunched in distaste, "never understood the appeal of them shows. She tried showin' one to me once when she was a girl. Well if a self-proclaimed princess ever behaved like _that_... Bet it would have been right up the King and Queen's kids' alley!"

"Frisk joins us sometimes, but Asriel, not as much. I kinda think he's bored by most of it, like he's seen it already."

"Well wherever he's been for a hundred years, tastes probably change. But him an' the other human? Yeah, they'd have been all over that stuff, him especially. Hey, haven't had a chance to ask: How's Fluffybuns handling that?"

"Well it was just him and Toriel and Frisk when he returned, and from what I hear it was a contest between father and son to see who cried the most."

"Ha, sounds about right! They're both big softies, whatever else went on."

"Well after Frisk got me to stop him pinching himself every few minutes, it's been great! It's the eyes, that's how I can tell. Eyes always tell you the most about your enemies, but it works for friends too! And his eyes, well, they haven't been that clear and bright since... since I kicked his butt in training!"

"Ha, just like him, takin' pleasure in his own humiliation if someone else is happy for it."

"It's awesome! I mean, Toriel ain't exactly defrosted to him yet or anything, but they're putting the kid's needs first. And what that kid needs is to learn everything I learned! Gardening and tea and junk, but also how to defend himself, and for downtime he can go swimming with his dad and-"

"Eh? Swimming? Think you've got the wrong end of the stick there Undyne. Don't think the kid's ever swam."

The empty glass still in Undyne's hand shattered. "What."

"Well, never back in the old days at least."

"He... he doesn't swim? I mean, I never swam with Asgore because everyone in Waterfall learns together, but the Prince of Monsters can't swim?!"

"'fraid so. Was never a priority to teach him. An' even when he had a friend, they didn't feel like swimming much, so nothing came of it. Well, in that case he's a chip off- Hey, where are ya goin'?"

She had already opened the door. "I'm gonna bang on Papyrus' door. I'm gonna yell this plan at him. He'll agree to help. Then we'll march over to Toriel's house. Then I'll knock politely and ask if we can come in. If she offers refreshments, we shall accept, and sincerely compliment anything she made herself. Then with all respect that a queen deserves, we shall ask where her children are. Once we know, we'll hunt them down, and I will force the Prince to accept swimming lessons! At spearpoint!"

* * *

The sun, slowly emerging from the distant mountains, finally hit the group on the river bank, and the mist that had followed them from the outskirts of town started to dissipate.

"Okay, Prince! You know why I've brought you here!"

"Well yeah, after you threatened me yesterday. But why does it have to be at five in the morning-"

"Imagine my shock when I found out you'd never been swimming! Even before your, uh, awkward phase. What kind of future king can't even swim?!"

"I told you yesterday Undyne, I want to learn to swim, but can we do it when the sun is up properly?"

"Well, I guess we could warm up by going back to dodgeball practice-"

Asriel stepped back with bulging eyes. "No no no, early morning swim! Sounds great!"

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT, PRINCE!"

The Royal Guards flanked their charge, ostensibly to protect him but also to prevent his flight. Frisk sat on a tree stump watching the scene. Papyrus had advanced on Asriel with a pair of shorts and in one swift motion neither Asriel or Frisk made out, had entirely swapped his clothes for them. The recently occupied sweater was now neatly folded on the grass, along with his trousers. He began to shiver a little in the cool morning.

"Good job, Pap! Now, no time like the present. Dive!"

"Wait, can't I-"

A bony hand seized his freshly donned shorts, picked him up and threw him into the river butt first. A great deal of splashing started up.

"Okay, one arm at a time! Splashing like that wastes energy! Use your legs! Not like that. You should have tied up your ears, see how they're flopping in your eyes? Hey, you're moving, good job!"

"UNDYNE, I MAY NOT BE AN EXPERT ON HYDRODYNAMICS, BUT HE'S MOVING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION HE IS ATTEMPTING TO SWIM. PERHAPS THE CURRENT IS TOO STRONG?"

"Oh. Yeah, you might be right." 

"AND AREN'T THERE RATHER SHARP ROCKS NOT FAR FROM HERE?"

Undyne's smile winked out of existance. "Uh-oh..." She started to run to the edge of the water.

Frisk loaded.

"Good job, Pap! Now, no time-"

"Undyne," said Frisks "maybe you should demonstrate how you swim first and show Asriel how it's done?"

"Hey, great idea! Gotta warm up myself, I only ran five miles to get here."

Without another word, Undyne leapt high into the air and landed in roughly the same spot Asriel had no longer been thrown into. She managed much better than Asriel had, a blue streak just beneath the water began crossing the river and back at an incredible speed. The other three watched for a good five minutes. Then with a mighty splash, Undyne burst from the water again and landed lightly on the bank.

"Now, kid. Any questions?"

"Um, yeah," said Asriel a little timidly, "how did you swim against the current like that? It looks pretty strong."

"Oh that's easy!" She grinned, gently rubbing the flaps in her neck. "You just open your gills full so you take advantage of the counter current to give you the energy you need to fight it!"

Her grin settled on the gaping flaw in what was probably a fatally undermined curriculum. Not that she noticed.

"Uh-" began Asriel.

"UNDYNE," offered Papyrus, "IF THE KING HAS GILLS, THEN THEY ARE IN A VERY DISCRETE PLACE HE DOES NOT DISCUSS IN PUBLIC. AND THE PRINCE PROBABLY HAS THEM THERE AS WELL, UNLESS HE IS FOLLOWING A FAD OF SOME SORT IN ORDER TO ASSERT HIS INDEPENDENCE. IT WOULD BE MOST IMPROPER TO OPENLY DISCUSS SUCH A SENSITIVE SUBJECT. PERHAPS A DIFFERENT TECHNIQUE WOULD BE LESS EMBARRASSING?"

"Oh." said Undyne, deciding not to challenge Papyrus' assumption to cover for her own error. "Well sure! Show us how skeletons swim!"

Frisk and Asriel looked with interest.

"NYEH HEH! PAY ATTENTION, PRINCE! MY METHOD OF SWIMMING MAY NOT BE AS FAST AS UNDYNE'S, BUT IT'S GUARANTEED TO GET YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO GO!"

With that, he turned around and marched into the river. Instead of beginning any kind of stroke, he kept walking. About a third of the way across his head disappeared. Once again three figured watched, though with much more puzzledness than before. Eventually Papyrus' head broke the surface as he continued his walk, and stepped out of the river.

"Uhhhhhh," contributed Undyne meaningfully.

"YOU SEE, PRINCE?" He called across the river. "YOU JUST MAGICALLY ANCHOR YOURSELF TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BODY OF WATER YOU FIND YOURSELF IN TO RESIST THE CURRENT, AND THEN YOU WALK IN YOUR DESIRED DIRECTION! MOST SIMPLE!"

"But what about breathing?" Called Asriel.

"THAT HAS NOT BEEN A PROBLEM IN MY EXPERIENCE."

"Hey Pap," called a recovered Undyne, "do you even need to breathe?"

"HMM. AN INTERESTING CONUNDRUM. I SHALL ATTEMPT TO ANSWER IT!"

His ribcage rose in the manner of someone taking a deep breath, and he calmly walked back into the river. He didn't emerge again.

"W-well," continued Undyne, "I guess you've seen what the basics look like. How about you give it a-"

"No!" Asriel looked stubborn, almost as if he remembered the previous attempt. Frisk decided to step in.

"Undyne, I know you're trying to help, but I don't think your style or Papyrus' will work for Asriel. He doesn't have the body parts you rely on. I had swimming lessons when I was younger, maybe a human style would suit him better?"

Frisk had learned that Undyne had trouble delegating training. Whether it was combat or cooking or piano lessons, if she wasn't teaching them personally she was a failure. But with one attempt at saving face already failed miserably she was on the verge of caving. Frisk opted not to drag it out.

"Of course, if you don't think I could do it-"

"No way! You can do anything! You'll teach the fluffball to swim, or it's back to dodgeball!"

"Deal. Well first, we're doing it in a swimming pool. And since they don't open until nine, we're getting breakfast first."

Papyrus finally re-emerged. "UNDYNE, I THINK YOU WERE RIGHT!"

* * *

"You're just thrashing your legs again, remember to synchronise your kicks!"

The soggy ball of fur obeyed, and his rate of progress increased significantly.

"That's it, you're doing it!"

Five claws gripped the edge of the pool as Asriel steadied himself. Frisk grabbed them and helped pull him out.

"Wow, I really did ten lengths by myself!"

"AND EVEN FASTER THAN LAST WEEK." Papyrus had just climbed out of the pool, having walked his own twenty lengths.

A shrill blast from a whistle unnecessarily announced the end of the lesson.

"I knew you could do it!" Bellowed Undyne. "I don't like swimming pools, that choleraline-"

"THE SCIENTIFIC DESIGNATION IS CHLORINE, UNDYNE."

"Whatever! It irritates my scales-"

"I LIKE THE TINGLY FEELING IT PUTS IN MY BONES."

"-but it seems to work for you, kid! I knew you could do it! Both of you. I made the right call letting Frisk handle it!"

"Yes. Well done, son."

The four of them turned to the new arrival.

"Dad! I thought you were busy with weeding."

"Indeed, but they all went quietly," said Asgore cheerfully, "so I wanted to see how you're getting on. I'm proud you're working so hard at it."

"Thanks, Dad! Maybe we'll have to start racing each other!"

Asgore's smile vanished. "Ah. Yes. You see. The thing is I dunmumblemumble..."

"WHAT WAS THAT, YOUR MAJESTY? DUNMUMBLEMUMBLE CAN MEAN MANY THINGS, DEPENDING ON THE CONTEXT."

"I, err, never learned how to swim."

The four of them gaped at him. A soft crumpling noise came from Undyne's hand still gripping the whistle. "What."

"Well when I was young, water was needed for drinking. You didn't swim around in it and mess it up. It's why I use magic to clean myself. And I never liked how hard it was to dry my fur properly afterwards. I kept telling myself I'd learn, but then the war- _Oof!_ "

Asgore's crown fell to the floor with a clatter, and there was a tremendous splash, accompanied by spluttering and gulping. Papyrus, Asriel and Frisk stepped back quickly, as Undyne took her position at the edge of the pool she'd just shoved Asgore into.

"Quit thrashing! Arm over arm! Take your sweater off, it'll weigh you down! Tuck that tail in, Asriel learned it drags. Now kick! Not like that, one leg at a time! Open your gills - wait, do you have those? Nevermind - _Move it, Fluffybuns!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> Original Pastebin Version: https://pastebin.com/8sZbRim8
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
